S's sister

Last weekend, sat..........mah best budd's sister's engagement was scheduled on oct second. BAM! News : Groom's grandmom is bedridden......chaos , nervousness all around. Reason :If there is a death in the family of either one, no celebration of any kind till the first death anniversary. Rules....
So S's family decide to visit their native and go to the temple of their 'home god' . Doesn't make sense eh? Mane devru. See? Example of literal translation n proof it's neva gonna work! lol!

He's on his way back as he had told our local gang of boyz that he will b back by sunday night...Sends a msg to a few (Exact msg here) saying "Hopefully...tomorrow will be the engagement of my sister...don't call me now..will reach home and call back...foot have any of the appointments tomorrow". Now boda(one in the gang, the body builder) was perlplexed wht he meant by the msg. He sent me a msg saying 'Maga, decode that fucker's msg. I am not able to eat as I can't understand!' ROFL! Thanks to my extensive research on SMSs' (read 'have sent LOADS of msgs' :D) it was a spelling mistake if you still haven't figured it out. When you have the T9 Dictionary ON, foot comes first instead of dont.LMAO! So the msg was understood by one n all now.

Now we were thinking 'what the hell is he talkin bout? How can it happen so suddenly now? What about the arrangements? This guy hasn't even reached bangalore yet!'. He reached around eleven something. Says everything should happen tomorrow guys, I don't know how we are gonna do it , but we should. It was not in english, this conversation. So it sounded a LOT more tense and not very confident too. Morning everyone is up, by eleven(reason - all concerned families of the bride all reach n ready) one city taxi booking is done for around 2 to take the bride to the groom's house and his mom's elder sister's family as they are officially gonna 'give away the bride'. One more car of a friend to drop off all the pooja materials.S goes with the pooja materials and asks us 'you guys not goin anywhere right? Nobody comin with me to drop these off?'. I said 'why do you want one more guy? Not needed. You go, drop this off n get back n call one of us'. Then the next step....................................We all went to play snooker. :D

So sometime after noon me n S decided to check for some iyengari catering service for dinner that night. Checked with 'kadamba' and they said they will do it. Rate was seventy friggin bucks for hardly six items! Two only were 'unlimited' officially. It was for around sixty ppl. No other option, so we just took it as the groom's family were very particular about iyengari's preparing the iyengari food....That's one thing done. Now one citi taxis' to do two trips to take all concerned families of the bride to the groom's place. So by S's friend we got it booked for half a day for 800 bucks. Not an awesome deal, but not a bad one too.

All reach the groom's place. S running around inside the house for ....................nothing. Basically he wanted things to work. Poor guy. Everybody understood his situation. At the same time, the groom's elder bro walks by and we exchange pleasantries............understanding S's predicament and nervousness, we made a decision then n there.......................................................................we asked for coffee. LMAO!

So we are all standing outside as if we were waiting for the dictator to give us tasks to 'execute'. I had got my sony digital camera. Sure did come in handy as it was the only one from the bride's side. Chairs were being put in place after the 'shaamiyaana' was 'erected'. Is there any other word I could've used here? :D Sounds very umm.........neva mind, I know all of ya got the point! lol! Some relative of the groom was doing this. I got a li'l ticked off and asked the guys standin n chattin there...'hello! need to get to work!' Chairs done. I asked for a cloth to clean the chairs as there was a lotta dust. I just started one by one. There were a couple of dozen chairs at the most. S comes out with my camera from the inside n takes a shot of me 'working hard'. Tells the groom who was standing beside him 'Look at him go! I haven't seen him do any cleaning at home! ROFL!'. I said 'Hello! Did anybody ASK you that question? So shut up already man!' hehehe. So I give a pose with the dirty cloth on my right shoulder. Cleaning done.

The groom n bride finish all the crap parts ( God knows what all they are made to do. They just sit there n .................do nothing! lol! and now tis time for them to exchange rings. Yea, this is a typical iyengari hindu engagement. Why rings you ask me? How do I know! I was there to just say 'hey looki here' n 'click!'. That was what I wanted to do at that time. Now the bride is searchin fer her bro. He's nowhere to be found. I run out n check. No sight of him. Come in, they waited for roughly a min then just exchanged rings. I was very confused. I didn't know what to do. There was one more digital camera capturing the moments. But it was not a sony, it was a friggin canon! (Sorry, me a die hard Sony fan!). I was about to switch to video mode thinking the other camera would have the snaps anyway. But decide otherwise and switch to photo mode. Good two snaps. Both look like duplicates, diff being who's extending the hand to get the ring, vice versa. So that's good photography. Yay! Now the groom's elder bro's wife was also having a third digital camera. Again a canon. !@#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@! So there was definite competition as to who would capture with just the right angle. Either she's sittin n me standing right behind or vice versa after a coupe of mins with all the ppl inside. It was tough to stand at an acute angle! So I thought to myself .........'oh yea? Wait till the results come up!'. ;)) S's office colleagues reach around early evening. I knew one of 'em and we had a very funny conversation which lasted ten secs! ROFL! He came n I said 'hey, see that ur also on orkut now! lol! Have fun!'. He replies back 'What to do, our boss (S) created my profile!'. Now..............S's profile was created by moi! LMAO!

Catering guys...............lol. This was 'so near yet so far' redifined fer sure! We had asked them to deliver at half past seven. It was seven and no signs. One of the gang guys calls the hotel n he informed us that the vehicle left ten mins back so within 20 more mins should reach. They had confusion as the groom's place wasn't exactly in the heart of the city, or the liver of the city, or the pancreas of the city or the..........well, you got the point right ? :D He called one of us and we all started walkin towards the main road to guide him. In the meanwhile, he calls up the landline of the groom's place. Somebody picks up and couldn't decipher who was calling and for what. We reach the main road, waiting for the guy to call any of the cell numbers as he didn't have one for us to call n guide him. Ten mins up, no calls. A couple of autos right in front of us. We were waiting for the caterer's vehicle. Five more mins passby and nothing. Now one guy from the auto nearest to us comes up n asks us 'Saar, where is this address?'. Yes, they were the caterers! lol! The guy was in the auto for almost twenty mins and we were in front all the time. ROFL!

All 'procedures' done successfully. It was a fockin smash hit with absolutely no hiccups! I asked for a laptop to transfer images as I have only a 512MB card. Got an obsolete laptop thankfully having a USB port. Transferred the first set. Now nothing much left but dinner and after for the next set of photos. So was fooling around taking photos of guys belting round after round of awesome dinner, with an amazing curd rice n pickles.*Drooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool*. We were in a corner with very less light. One guy was sitting on a chair and the rest of us around him talkin, jokin around. I had finished eating real fast as I was famished. So switched to video mode. Moved to capture everybody standing around me then slowly to the guy on the chair. Now the chair had absolutely no light as lots of ppl surrounded it. The guy Y sitting on the chair isn't exactly aamir khan's complexion..........As I couldn't see anything , I asked him 'Y, show yer teeth'. As there was a decent decible of talkin around, he couldn't hear n was also busy makin jokes n stuff with the other guys. Once more, me 'Y, show yer teeth'. This time he is like 'wha??'. Third time 'Y, show yer teeth!'. Replies 'Showing man!'. Not even ONE FRIGGIN WHITE TOOTH seen in the camera! We still trip on this clip. Now I rhyme, should I rap or just stop this crap with rap? ROFLMAO!

Thus, engagement execution completed successfully.

Oh btw, today's friday so watched 'KRRISH'. It was entertaining alright. Watchable once for the good special effects made by the same guys who did it for 'Independence Day' and a couple of other hollywood movies. Somehow couldn't help but think I was watching a rajnikant tamil movie's hindi version due to the 'mind blowing' scenes with graphics. LOL! See it to believe it. Tis too much. One scene in the climax is unfockinbelievable when the villian shoots two bullets to two ppl standing around five feet from each other................it's sooper! LMBO!

This marriage is preponed to the 10th, 11th n 12th of July!

Just another day for you and me in paradise.......

Around eleven am......date : The day I had planned to watch The Da Vinci Code / MI - III ........oh yea, date : 11th June

A call to landline @home from a cell. I was listening to 'White Zombie - Children of the grave' around 60% of the volume from the Creative 2.1 on the comp. That is loud would be an understatement and most of you guys who have a creative would agree. lol! I reduce the volume way down n pick up the call.
Me : Hello?
X : Hello, can I speak to Vijayakala please? (My mom's name is V...)
Me : Um...she's not here. Can I know who's speaking?
X : My name's D..... When can I talk to her?
Me : She will be back in around an hour. Any message?
X : Actually, I got this number from O*Y#RIWQRE marriage society. So I called up.......
Me : Oh, okay. She's gone to the same place right now. You can call her after an hour or so I guess.
X : May I know who I am speaking to?
Me : This is Raghu
X : ok.....................................(expecting some response I guess......)
Me : Okay then. You can call after an hour I guess. Bye.


Sounds like a VERY normal conversation.

P. S: I am the groom to be. The call was from one of the brides to be. :">:">:">
It's official now. The 'hunt' is ON.

Yes, I knew her name and I knew it was her who had called. So I could've spoke. But my mind was on MI III. Guess I am what I am, weird! ROFLMAO!

You can start making fun of me now.

kids of today........

Came a li'l late to work today. Reason with visuals below.

Almost four in the evening. Me in the night shifts for this week. I could get shut eye only from 7 am to 11 am. It's almost 2 am now. Eyes gettin heavy already.....neways..
So my mom comes up to me and says vaishnavi n ramya are gettin the make up done. They want to dance to the song before their summer vacations are over. I said : okay, lemme charge the batteries of my camera. After the make up, the two gals who are in the fifth std came back with full enthu to dance to a song from the kannada movie aapthamithra. Song is called raa raa.......as in come come......no pun intended. :D

Here is how they looked.




The first time I saw vaishnavi's performance at the end of their summer camp.......I was almost dumbfounded! I asked her 'When did you learn to do all THIS now?' lol! She said, 'Of course I know how to dance. This isn't my first performance'. Topic closed. I had nothing more to say! She dances really really well, and when I use really really , albeit it doesn't appeal to the english grammar, I mean REALLY REALLY WELL! ROFL! I suggested to her grandmom to send her to bharatnatyam classes. Vaishnavi isn't too keen as she's more of the 'western' dance oriented. On the other hand ( or leg, whichever makes ya happy ) ramya knows a li'l bit of bharatnatyam. But she can't dance the 'western' style to save her life. I then started to realize why one person can't be perfect at anything. It makes sense after all.....

I suggested that we go up to the terrace of the next building and they can dance there. Daylight with ample space to prance around. The minute I suggested, bam! power cut in our lane. So no other alternative. Went n bought batteries for the tape recorder, borrowed an emergency lamp from my local nicotime adda shop.Came back to the terrace. audience from just four or five was around a dozen. Found out that the emergency lamp wasn't bright enough. Flop show! There was a store room on the terrace. Got it opened. Saw a 60 watt bulb there. Tried to unhook it, dragged the electricity line till the door. power was back on now. Not enough light to make them dance on the terrace as it was around 8 pm already. flop show number two! lol!

Decided that only option was to make them do their bit in our hall. Place packed with all families. So I started recording their performances. So after the first song and two dozen images, I had to recharge the battery and even transfer all the vids n images to the comp. The two gals had a younger bro each. Here they are. One of THE cutest pics I've even captured!



They danced to four songs and each time I had to say 'ten minutes break. Battery to be charged again'. Nobody groaned. :)

Phew, that took me out. All the running around , getting things done quickly , assist them to dance a li'l back as there was less space in the hall. Someone from the gang said at the end of it all.....Raghu is the director, producer, cameraman and the audience too. lol! That made me laugh. Finally transferred all to the comp n burnt a dvd. Dvd had both mpg n jpgs. So mpgs didn't play on my dvd player. Got the laptop, showed the vids there. Time was already around half past nine. Got ready in a jiffy. I always think of the line 'Somebody STOPPPPPPP ME!' from The Mask when I have to get ready in a hurry. hehehe

after a long time............a very short post. lol!

It's been a while since I posted something that's not more than two or three lines. Damn! Lost one line already! ROFL! Just watched the lightning and drizzle outside, took a short walk and ate my favorite, corn with some salt n chilli powder combo.......mouth watering...drooooooooooooooooooooooool! There. Three lines over. "The End" / "Shubham" / "It's just the beginning".

coorg trip anecdote

How did I miss this one?!?!? Neways, gang of four went to coorg to a place called Honey Valley. As I had very very rarely 'ventured' outta blr, it was something I looked forward to. Stayed for three nights. First night, after the regular 'rituals' we were just lying down. Two guys were listening to their kinda metal music on their mp3 players. I was too sleepy so dozed off. At around half past one, the guy (who's studying herpetology) actually saw something in the dark. Me n the fourth were asleep. So the one who saw something slitering told the other guy to check what it was. It was a snake, albeit a small one.....

The one (who saw) woke me up from my deep slumber and told me 'snake! snake!' . As they were fans of AIC(Alice In Chains) I thought must be some stupid song that he's raving about in the middle of the night as we were all tripping. I told him 'yea, yea. okay' and closed my eyes again. 'Snake snake! Get up man, look at this snake!'. BAM! Me 'what the!!??!, where!?!?'. Lights on, action time!. The one identifies the "model" ...err..the species and says 'I think this is blah blah blah!(don't remember. At 2 in the morning, who would?!? lol! ) so then I take out my cam. One more digital SLR also out. The fourth guy asked him 'Sure right? It's blah blah so it's not poisonous?'.The one 'Yea yea'. So the fourth catches it by the tail. It was hardly two feet, but he actually had to drag it as it was really powerful for it's size!. Then after the capture it! session was over, it bit the guy as it was really irritated with all the lights. Ironically, it is supposed to be one of the most docile ones! Then the fourth guy is a wee bit scared.....asked the one again 'Maccha, it bit me ra!'. The one replies 'Yea, now we can be sure that if you don't die, it's the same one that I identified' . LMBO! The fourth one replies 'My pop will sue you till you are bankrupt if that's the case'. ROFL! Actually, the one was sure. But heck, it was a night to remember alright!

Lyrics of a song I like listening to when I'm a little out of sorts. Gets me back to reality. The Matrix!

Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took my life tonight, chance are that I might
Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late and I was empty within
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself and no love for another
Searching to find a love upon a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I can't go on living this way

Although one line is not true / liked by me.

One of the most awesome songs ever!

All the teachin' in da world today
All the little girls fillin' up da world today
When the good comes to bad, the bad comes to good
But I'm a live my life like i should
Now da critics wanna hit it
This hit? How we did it, just because they don't get it
But I'll stay fitted, new era commited
Now this red cap gets a rap from these critics

But do we always gotta cry
Do we always gotta live inside a lie
Life's just a blast cuz its movin' really fast
So ya better stay on top or life'll kick you in the ass
Follow me into a solo
Remember that, kid, so whatcha wanna do
And where ya gonna run when your stari'n down the cable of my mic
Pointed at yo grill like a gun
Limp Bizkit is rockin' the set
It's like russian roulette when you're placin' your bet
So don't be upset when you're broke and you're done
Cuz I'm a be the one till I jet

I know why you wanna hate me
Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately
And now you wanna hate me
Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately

Does anybody really know the secret
Or the combination for this life and where they keep it
It's kinda sad when you don't know the meaning
But everything happens for a reason
I don't even know what i should say
Cuz I'm an idiot, a loser
A microphone abuser
I analyze every second I exist
Beatin' up my mind every second with my fist

And everybody wanna run
Everybody wanna hide from da gun
You can dig a rat through this life if you want
But you can't dig the edge off a knife (no sir)
And now you want your money back
But you're denied, cuz your brain's fried from the sack

And there aint nothin' i could do
Cuz life is a lesson, you'll learn it when you're through

I know why you wanna hate me
Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately
And now you wanna hate me
Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately

Now... I... know... why (now I know why you wanna hate me)

I know why you wanna hate me
Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately
And now you wanna hate me
Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately.

Life is a full circle.......

As I can't think of anything, here's my life history of diseases. For those who wanna comment, plzzzzzzzzzz don't pity and give advice.This is purely for my own sadistic / weird satisfaction that I'm posting for.

During my childhood days, I recollect going to a Mr.Benakappa who was a child specialist. I was adviced to take a tablet at a particular time everyday for five years. Remotely remember taking it at six in the evening. Reason : Convulsion. Convulsion is the infancy of 'fits' so it's referred to as convulsion for kids(as far as my logic goes obv :D).

High school time. Jaundice. Pretty chilled out disease actually. Drink loadsa sugarcane juice n chill out at home. hehe. One more in high school. Apendictis time. This was really insulting to say the least. Why? Read on.....

Me on one of the beds in the hospital. A team of students just finishing their medical came to check the records of all patients. A few real pretty chicks in the gang of a dozen. Then the head of the gang comes to my bed, reads my history...explains to the team. Takes out a reynolds 045, pulls down my underwear (NOT fully, just a wee bit mind you!) and then actually draws a circle where the apendictis is supposed to have overgrown ( so it pains like hell if u just use ur finger to touch it!) and to top it all off, puts a X in the circle! D-UH! That was really embarassing. The pain of the pain, the pain of the pretty chicks lookin at the circle.......:(( bastards!

The year 2003. Sunday , Jan 3rd. Morning 7 am. Cricket time. Opened the batting for our local team. As I used to smoke easily a pack and a half per day in those days, wasn't the best runner in the team, but not a bad runner too. First six balls, all faced by me, all two runs. Panting for breath. End of over. Second over starts. The other guy on strike now. We take a single. Me badly tryin to breathe. Squat and tryin to breathe in. Finding it difficult......need a runner for sure. My best friend and one more friend at the leg umpire's position. Me gesturing towards them.......asking for a runner. BAM! Everything is fuzzy. The whole friggin ground starts spinning right in front of me. I feel weak in my legs.....can't stand............need to rest.........can't hold the bat any longer.......thwump!face first into the ground, bat still in hand. Lights out! After a few mins, can't open my eyes, but can hear loads of ppl talking around me.One is saying 'open your eyes', one 'take some water n drink it', one 'have tender coconut' etc...Then slowly regained consciousness. All guys around me shit scared. No idea what happened. Least of all I had no idea what had happened! Literally struggle to carry me to the auto. Nearest nursing home. Sister pokes an injection into the bone of my right hand. My wrist isn't exactly 'big' ya see. I scream. "OWW! Sister, please be careful with that! You are hurting my bone!". Sister "Please sir, just keep quiet will you? I know what I'm doing". Me thinkin, "bi***!". Next to mallya hospital.After the initial xrays, scans...the head surgeon comes in .....has a look. First words to me 'Do you smoke?' . I have no idea how I answered this till date. My exact words were 'I love to smoke'. Doc jokingly slaps me n tells ppl around me 'Kids of today. Look at his audacity. He is telling me that he loves to smoke in the ICU!'. Then the regular stuff happened. Not too keen to type all of it. Something about a filter inserted into the chest.

Now for the better part of this sad friggin post.................hehehe...hilarious!

Click!